By Bishop Sunny Emmanuel*
“He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.” – Prov 18:22, AMP
Single boys and girls, this month, we are going to focus on you! Specifically, if you’re in your twenties and ready to start thinking about dating and marriage – you have to do it right! Don’t buy into all the pretend love you see in the media or gossip magazines. Relationships, love and marriage are a lot more fun than what you see on TV or in the movies.
This month’s article is for the boys. Let me on behalf of my wife, that is with her permission and advice give you some motherly advice on what a girl wants. (Girls – later, I will give you some fatherly advice on what a boy wants.
Here’s what a girl wants. She wants you to sweep her off her feet! All of her life she’s had this crazy dream that she’s Cinderella and one day her Prince Charming would come along and literally sweep her off her feet with the glass slipper. You’d be surprised how easy this is to do! This is not an exhaustive list, but here are a few practical ways to find and pursue the girl of your dreams.
Pray and Be Jesus-Focused: If you want to find an awesome Christian girl and experience a relationship that is blessed by God, you better be a Christian. One of the number one things a Christian girl wants is a real, Jesus-loving, praying, Bible-living, genuine Christian guy who walks the talk. Lots of guys call themselves Christian, but they don’t treat women in a way that honours the Lord. Girls are seriously looking for a guy that is strong in the Lord. Girls don’t want to be the spiritual leader of the relationship and the one who has to initiate conversations on godly things – they want a guy who totally gets it and is on the same page in their passionate pursuit of God. First step: Go after God, then go after the girl.
Ask Her Out: You have to take the initiative. Girls are responders; boys are initiators. Sure, you can find the type of girls who will hunt you down like prey; but most Christian women want to be pursued by a pursuer! Notice the passage in Proverbs, “A man who FINDS a wife, FINDS a good thing.” You have to find her! That means you are the hunter. That means you call her. You send the email. You text. You ask her out. The worst that can happen is that she’ll say “No” – and that will be her loss. Second step: Find her and get a date.
Be Creative: If you’re trying to win the love of your life, the days of “Let’s just go to dinner and a movie…” have to be shelved. She wants you to put a little more thought into it. Do something fun and different. How about a date at the Zoo? Why not order Chinese take-out and then set up a folding table and chairs in a local boulevard and have your dinner in the middle of traffic? If you want to go to the movies, how about doing a tail-gate party in the parking lot? Sure, set up tent and enjoy some sandwiches and chips before the movie! Plan a Mystery Trip and go to out-of-the-way towns, find the local dive and have dinner; then feed the ducks at a nearby river. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. A drive to see the sunset, a walk through the park, rent a canoe, ride bikes, go visit the elderly in a nursing home, ride the Merry-Go-Round…the list goes on…girls love these things! There are so many ways to spend time together – why settle for something as basic as “dinner and a movie?” Third step: Don’t be predictable or boring.
Learn How To Talk: This may be the best piece of advice yet – girls like to talk! They do not enjoy sitting in silence and staring at a TV, a windshield or a candle. Girls like two-way conversations. As much as they want to hear about everything you have done since birth; they would also like you to ask them a question about their lives. That means you are going to have to become an expert at asking her questions about her and learn how to follow it up with another question about her before you start talking about you, again. They also love to talk about God, life and other interesting and intellectually stimulating things – after that, they don’t mind a little chatting about sports.
Bring Gifts: Girls love gifts! It’s not the price tag; it’s the thought. Flowers are nice, but it’s even better if the gift is customized for her. Show her you’ve been listening to her likes and dislikes and give her a gift for no reason. If she likes Kit-Kat bars, don’t bring a Snickers bar. If orange is her favourite colour, make sure your gift is orange! Wrap the gift. Hide the gift.
Make a Deal: Make a deal to be pure. If you want the Lord’s hand on your relationship, choose to lead the relationship in a way that puts Him first and honours Him and His guidelines. The world tells you that purity is old-school and out of fashion; God tells you that purity is the pathway to the type of relationship the world will drool over. Treat her the way you’d want someone to treat your sister. Respect her.
Boys, there are a lot of strong, beautiful, amazing Christian girls out there and they are waiting for someone like your amazing self to sweep them off their feet! Have fun doing it God’s way…
Girls Say It: “Father, I thank You that my Prince Charming is out there. I know You are preparing me just for him. I pray You help him today to take the initiative, and at the right time You will help him sweep me off my feet. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.”
Boys Say It: “Father, I thank You that the Christian woman of my dreams is out there. I know You are preparing her just for me. Lord help me to be a person of prayer and focused on Jesus. Help me to have creative ideas for dating. Help me to be a giver. Help me to lead in purity. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.”
*Bishop Sunny Emmanuel is a Senior Pastor with Christian Faith Centre International, Tilburg (Holland). He may be reached on firstname.lastname@example.org